My Cringe Old Poetry

Table Of Contents

On this page I’ll paste my cringe old poetry, most of which was written back in my high school days.

Some of it isn’t terrible and I have some backstory to go with it. Some of these were for school assignments where they required us to write some poetry.

I will sort these by the best one first.

Trip to Dracula’s Castle

Backstory: The lyrics to this poem largely came to me in a dream. One night I dreamt that I was watching a movie, where a voice was narrating in the background very similar lyrics to this one, while corresponding visual aids were seen. It sounded similar to the telling of an epic poem like The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe. When I woke up, I was surprised at how damn creative my imagination could be, making up such a long poem on the fly and it all coming out so perfectly!

I obviously didn’t remember every word of the poem from my dream (or even most of them!), but the major beats are all there and I wrote this poem as the nearest approximation of what I heard in my dream.

Also! I randomly submitted this to a poetry contest and won some sort of prize, though I no longer remember the details.

Trip to Dracula’s Castle
© 2005 Noah Petherbridge
Written: 5/19/2002 (Age 14)

On a trip to old Drac’s castle,
My team’s struck with grief and hassle.
It was late in the months of fall,
It seemed like the coldest month of all.

As we neared the castle, we saw in a tree,
Several black bats, about twenty-three.
A strong icy wind blew just now,
And the cold hit us just like a plow. \

The bats dropped from the tree in a blur of black,
My team was frightened and stepped quickly back.
As I started to run, I heard a scream so high,
And as I looked back, I saw a man so nigh.

Lying down by the gate was a smelly old bum,
He is just awakening, and he smells like rum.
He was screaming for help, I couldn’t refuse,
I slowly approached him, he fell to my shoes.

He picked himself up, still screaming for help,
He was so unclear, it was a pitiful whelp.
With a deafening scream, something emerged from the castle,
It was the spirit of Prince Vlad, and his image struck hassle.

The bum and I, we commenced to flee,
And Vlad looked angry, staring at me.
I told the bum to continue on his own,
And I turned around, and faced Vlad alone.

Vlad’s eyes were beet red, and badly bloodshot,
He was building with fury, and quickly getting hot.
I knew I should run, but I was curious to see more,
Until Vlad left the castle, slamming the door.

At that point I paused, then I started to run,
If I had stayed here, it wouldn’t be fun.
I turned away, then hurried down the path,
Such an evil nature that Prince Vlad hath.

Quickly enough, he was out of my sight,
I was running so fast, I could’ve took flight.
But I survived okay, and filled with hassle…
And that was my trip to Dracula’s Castle.

J

Backstory: This one sounds like it was a homework assignment for school.

J
© 2005 Noah Petherbridge
Written: 9/21/2005 (Age 17)

There was a man who they called J;
Nobody knew his real name, anyway.
Cloaked in mystery and dressed in black,
No paranormal knowledge did he lack.

Always talking of extraterrestrial life,
It’s no wonder he doesn’t have a wife!
Saving the world is this man’s job,
He can pick out the aliens from any mob,

And always nearby are his sunglasses.
I don’t know if he’s ever taken classes
To learn how to be such a hero.
Does he have any family? Nope, zero.

His partner is one named K
And he was the one who recruited J.
The secrets of the universe, they know them all
But you’d be surprised how the secrets are so small–

A marble or bracelet, for instance.
Their whole job can get pretty intense!
They’ve been eaten by aliens, day or night,
But rain or shine they don’t give up a fight.

The Men in Black, I guess they’re called,
And they’ve lurked in the shadows all along.
How many of them is not known,
But J and K are not alone.

Now all this information that you’ve realized
Will soon be forgotten after you’re neuralized.

It May Not Be Found

Backstory: I really do not remember what I was talking about with this poem! 🤷🏻 Probably something cringe like “love” or coming to terms with my sexuality. Oh, teenage angst!

It May Not Be Found
© 2005 Noah Petherbridge
Written: 4/12/2005 (Age 17)

I couldn’t find it on this side
so I went to the other.
When I thought I found it there,
it wasn’t what I was looking for.
Realizing it may not be found on either side,
I returned to where I came.
I thought I found it back here,
but yet again it wasn’t real.
It may not be found on either side.

Riven Heart

Backstory: probably something to do with coming to terms with my sexuality.

Riven Heart
© 2005 Noah Petherbridge
Written: 9/25/2005 (Age 17)

Underneath this face lies a riven heart,
Rended to pieces and torn apart.
Not due to things people have done,
But to a war that’s already begun.

Perhaps here I belong to both sides,
But in the end is it me who decides
Which loyalty I belong to?
Of that I wish I knew.

Always am I bound to this side,
And change that fact I have tried.
To deny myself is to tear me apart,
And further hurt my badly riven heart.

Already riven and rended to pieces,
Yet the enemy: their fire never ceases,
Though they’re fighting the losing fight,
Eventually forced in the end to alight.

Of all this I may have cried,
When maybe I should take some pride
In knowing, in whole or in part,
Only I can heal my own riven heart.